I got to GAP meeting late, it rained cats and dogs just as I was about to step out of my house (not an excuse) and to my dismay I missed the juiciest part of the gathering. Because of my tardiness, I missed the viewing of two short clips that were presented by Chris. So I’m going to stay clear of that area.
But lucky me I started the days topic with a story I had been told earlier that week; a young guy felt his madams behaviour to him was inappropriate, lots of winking, squeezing, inappropriate touching, funny talk but he wasn’t really sure because it was all subtle and he didn’t want to say anything cos he didn’t want to be seen as a weak man or lose his job, well. But he was uncomfortable. At least we know that its not gender exclusive.
Everyone had a different view and a different story on sexual harassment, but there were some recurring words like patriarchy, power, control, equality etc. But everyone agreed on the definition of sexual harassment as unwanted or unwelcome sexual advances, unwelcome being the operative word. It could be man to woman, woman to man, man to man (a lot of guys cringed at this thought) and woman to woman. The women had so much to say, harassment at work, at school, in a street corner everywhere, not surprisingly, the men were totally oblivious to ever being sexually harassed because like one member pointed out, the advances were usually welcome. Which just buttress the point made by another participant that we live in a patriarchal culture where men have the power. what kind of power, I asked? Is it physical or political or emotional? Well its just the expectation and the acceptance of man as the head.
In a society like ours where women are still relegated to some certain roles- secretary, receptionist, marketer etc, we of course are highly exposed and susceptible to sexual harassment but should we take it lying down just because ‘he sees no harm in what he is doing’? And if we have to stop this menace, how do we go about it. That was the question. The answer was elusive because there were certain unresolved issues that were regarded as the underlying causes of sexual harassment and everybody seemed to be playing safe.
We need to step out of our religious and politically correct boxes and discus this issues without bias or fear, lay them out the way they are or else we will not find answers.
Finally I must add that no poem was read, I over head someone say, ‘I signed up for an evening of poetry and art not a discussion panel’, so I guess I will take that up during the next meeting.