BRUTALLY HONEST

Brutally honest.
The world has a very unreasonable standard of beauty and there is so much pressure on people, both men and women and now even children to keep up. This standard is basically about physical appearance and most of the time it boils down to weight and colour of skin. Of course there are other dimensions like, cheek bone, height, x-factor which can also be referred to as swagger for our male counterparts.

I committed self esteem suicide yesterday when I agreed to meet with some visiting new Yorkers. 4 real life models, 6 ft 5, long legged, toned, tanned, size 4 beauties. I stood out from amongst them like awilos ‘red shoes’. Every lady there must have felt a bit green, this is not self degradation oh before some people will rise to judgement it is me being brutally honest. Obviously curious I asked them how they manage to maintain such a size and always look so effortlessly beautiful and Erica (who was a delight to listen to as she was usually so animated when she talked) told me that she finds it saddening that people are always quick to dismiss them as anorexic airheads but there is so much discipline required in their profession. constant exercise, eating right, the right posture and constant travel for photo shoots and a lot more to stand out in a world of modelling where unlike here, where she lives there are dozens of girls in the business ready to push you aside. Well they each have their backup plan, cos as they grow older in the industry, younger, fresher faces sprout up every day making them irrelevant and forgotten.

But somehow I believe that more and more older women are looking hotter and hotter. They have stopped letting go after a few children and have started spending more resources which they have a lot of disposable income available to them. Decades ago, using make up and taking time dressing up was frowned on when u reached a certain age (read ‘road to bar beach’), usually you just start aging from 30 onwards when you have had your fifth child. You wear unsightly, unflattering bubus and bubas and just generally look unattractive. But you don’t need ovation magazine to tell you that things have changed. 50 is the new 30 or maybe even 20. Nigerian women are aging gracefully. Let’s leave more extreme enhancements like surgery and focus on safer, cheaper and easier ones like make up/makeover.

You may believe that you have always been the ugly duckling in your family or the less attractive among your group of friends, but I assure you, hiding your love handles under that unflattering tunic will not help you or your confidence. It’s about time you take matters into your hands. if u you are not one for makeup, I’m sure there are colours and brands that will suit you, if your weight makes you shy, get on a program(but do it for yourself and not for anybody else). I say all these because I believe that a lot can be achieved when a woman believes she has attained beauty especially by her own standards. Good luck!

P.S - A Beauty studio CYREENE is opening, July 2009 in OMEGA PLAZA Wuse 2. Finally! A place where women can go have professional make up treatment, makeovers to suit their new lifestyle and status, buy quality makeup products that you have seen only in magazines and sip tea or wine while chatting with fellow girlfriends. I look forward to it.

PLEASE STAND UP....

The best decisions are informed decisions.
I am happy to live in a world and in a time where young people are encouraged to do great things and I have noticed that more and more people are leaving the corporate world to start their own business. Many reasons, flexibility, control, or just plain tired of the routine of a 9-5. This is not only great for the economy but also good for individual growth and confidence.

As a young child growing up, I dreamt of being many things. Lawyer, pilot, princess, pirate etc.non of these quite worked out but that is a story for another day.

In Nigeria, we are encouraged to go to school, finish, get a job and then get married and have kids and settle down to growing older. As boring as this sounds alot of people tow this line. Which begs the question, are you doing absolutely what you want to be doing? Or are you stuck in a rut just because having a good job is wat is expected of you or you feel safe? You dream about success and achieving great heights in life but you are too afraid to take the leap, how then do u intend to attain? Fear makes us irrational, desperate even, so we just sit in our comfort, quietly watching our days go by when we can do something about.

What the world needs is young passionate innovative individuals who are ready to take on the world and change the script, who can bravely challenge ols ways of doing things/thinking and change them. I believe that success isn’t predetermined by some force or a higher power, you attain success because of the choices you make, the risk you take and the hardwork and determination you put into your business or your art. I am a young woman starting out in business and I consider every one, young and old who ventured out and succeeded as my inspiration and I doff my hat to them.

New ideas abound, Abuja has a thriving market, take control.

ijeoma okeagu
executive director,
white rabbit concePt nig ltd
08037135829
WHITE RABBIT CONCEpT LIMITED. Also known as WR CONCEpT is an EVENTS MANAGEMENT and PUBLIC RELATIONS FIRM based in Abuja, Nigeria.

(YPIB - young people in business seminar/networking meet coming in july 2009)

PLAY (BYOB) - confessions of a city crawler (pt.6)

Alright I admit this is free advert but, I couldn’t resist the urge to write about this.Its like 3 degrees outside(rain) and I barely made it home on time, just before the rain started pouring. im lucky the rain did not catch me, being asthmatic and all (get to the point aijay)

I will I will. Its Thursday at play sports bar and lounge. I convince 4 of my cool friends, derin, anieakan, lam and tk to follow me to play to come get slushed since we can carry as much alchohol as we want. Little did I know that other abujanites would have the exact same idea.BYOB(bring your own booze) nite which I must say was suggested my me(Ijeoma “white rabbit” Okeagu) (couldn’t resist that) has evolved to a point where even me a regular playete , did not find a place to place my cute tushie.

The idea, incase u haven’t caught on is a night where you can buy or even manufacture your own drinks and bring it into play and drink to your heart content and let loose and have as much fun as your alcohol state can allow you. And have fun we did.
As a city crawler reporter, I surveyed the entire scene and people were having uninhibited fun (which is the best kind of fun by the way) and the vibe was lovely. Fashionistas were out for the night and I could see the guy’s loosening up and having fun.

Contrary to popular opinion, we do know how to have fun in Abuja and we don’t need any body to show us. Big ups play, BYOB night @ play is the shit, if u are an abujanite that appreciates good fun i suggest you try it. We had a couple of celebrities there too (one of nigeria's finest menswear designers)

P.S how did those ‘ladies of the night get in?’ (over to play mgt)

ALi and the Angel

419 did not start today. I always like to imagine how people first came to do certain things. ‘ hey, people are gullible, ive got an idea! You know how I fooled ola and he was very angry but couldn’t do or say anything about it cos he was ashamed of his greed and stupidity, this time lets take it bigger, maybe even global, we have the internet don’t we?

For those of you who love to read like me, maybe u have heard of or read ALI and the ANGEL. In a nut shell, Ali told everyone in his small village that an angel is visiting him and if u are clean and pure of mind, u can come and see the angel and ask him whatever you want….for a fee. Well the villagers gathered, some out of disbelief, some curiosity, some skepticism and some just wanted to expose the fraud, but how can u go in and come out and say u did not see anything and then be regarded as unclean without a pure heart? So all of them both brave and strong and wise, paid, went in and spoke to the angel. I don’t know how the story ended because I laughed so hard. If you were told the way I was told u would laugh too, sometimes it’s not the joke that is funny, it’s how u tell it.

Ali is a crook obviously, but I decided to play devil’s advocate and call him a darn good sales man. Why because he did not beg or steal or force he only persuaded. He sold a perception and people fell for it. He played on people need to be good and moral and clean. How is he different from the pastors of now a days??? Yes I said it sue me.
(i wrote this note with a huge smile on my face and a lesson learnt, dont think u r not supseptible to deciet, its cockiness like that, that leads you straight there. just be careful and wary)

ABUJA IS HUNGRY- Confessions of a city crawler(pt.4)

friday night, i convince my sister amisdt struggle and frowns to a night on the town. we had dinner and drinks and caught up with some old friends,oyibo style and then i decided the night was still too young to head home. so off we went to The Wine Shop. i was amazed at he sight that caught me, it was brimming with people. first of all parking was a problem and then curiousity took us inside, we wanted to know wat happened here that the white rabbit wasnt aware of, amazingly nothing, it was just a normal friday night abuja crowd, searching for good music, well priced drinks, see and be seen crowd and unrestricted fun. when i first discovered the wine shop it was located at aminu kano and it was a place for u to buy wine period, i went in there to pick a bottle of wine for my oga, by the next time i went to wine shop, they had 4 white chairs outside,no table,a couple of guys were sitting there having a meeting i think and sipping their wine from white disposable cups, why take it home when they can drink it right there. by the next month, more white chairs, more people.this was 2007.

fastforward to 2009.

which brings me to this, ABUJA IS HUNGRY!

as a city crawler i can confidently tell u that the vibe of every lounge and club and hangout is pretty much the same every night. same music, same drinks, same food, nothing new. some clubs have the illusion that they are grander and posher than others, but we'll let them live with that illusion i guess because really really its the same ol' same ol'. and some how lounges manage to morph in to clubs which kindof creates a problem for the owners or not,some owners encourage this.

i still havent seen a chilled out, loungy inspired place that has some how managed to stay that way(look wat happened to krystal lounge) or a posh club with an ultra chic no nonscence dress code(where are our fashionista/fashion forwards), people always default.

well,in conclusion to friday nights outing, we ended up at bassment. My first friday night at basement and i had a blast,first of all it had a dance floor the size of an actual dance floor, the vibe was grand but unpretentious, the crowd was great, people came out to have fun although there were some people who were just out to ruin it for everyone else but generally people came to have fun and then slip into the night(u know). but the way people crowd into places just goes to show that there is a market out there and club and lounge owners need to tap into it, up the ante on your place. if u want to be a 'after work with the guys' kind of place be that, if u want to be a 'gathering of cool party people' kind of place, be that, if u want to be a normal resturant just be that, but have focus really because people are getting confused.

P.S thanks basement, u helped me give my sister the time of her life.

HOW TOS, WHEN TOS, WHO TOS AND WHERE TOS.

Im not a solution provider, as a matter of fact im completely oblivious to a lot going on around. For instance, im bad at Maths, have been so since I skipped out on Primary 3 and into 4. I’m horrible with electronics and electrical and I’ve been so since I received the shock of my life while trying to change a light bulb. I’m terrible at relationships and have been since the love of my life left me for a ‘skinny’ Puerto Rican. This is me. But I discovered something, BOOKS! and with this discovery came the discovery of Self Help, How To And Guide Books.

For those of you who are familiar with the dummy series, you will understand this title, ‘Life For Dummies’. You can imagine my excitement when I saw this book, I thought, my solution to all my life’s shortcomings. Yippee. But my solution book turned out to be anything but. The book was more like a suggestion book, suggestions suggestion suggestions, mostly contradicting itself in each chapter. But then again, who would buy a book like that? Well as the title implies, a dummy.

Im no dummy (if I do say so myself) and I’m sure we have all come across one how to book at some point in our life. The average bookstore has a self help shelf with titles like ‘how to win him over’ to ‘how to be a Nigerian’to ‘how to worship God’ etc. But all this DIY (do it yourself) books each contradict themselves. Let’s take diet for instance, one minute the fad is eat only protein and the next its eat only green fruit. One book says, be nice and he will love you and another one says to play a 10 day mean game and you are sure to have him hooked. But despite the contradictions, the ‘whatever works for you rule applies’. But I find that rules don’t work for me, who makes this rules really, think about it.

But I must add that self help and how to books are crammed with useful titbits and many are very helpful. My book shelf isn’t of much help, being a magazine, newspaper and Tom Peters fanatic, so I guess my rules of living come from living. Waking up in the morning, trying new stuff, reading peoples stories and experiences, my own experiences etc any point of view is welcome and if it works for me then so be it.

P.S t think this blog should have been titled ‘whatever works for you’

CONFESSIONS OF A CITY CRAWLER (PT.2)-What I Hate To See In A Club!

i decided to do a poll among my my friends who are trendy and enjoy a night on the town.it was suppose to be coolest places to hang out but it morphed into WHAT I HATE TO SEE IN A CLUB. i found some very hilarious like no.4 but seriously, i thinks this stuff should be taken seriously.enjoy and leave a comment about what you hate to see,it will be helpful i assure you.
1. Fight- john membu
2. People dulling- Diana ita
3. People forming- victor ifemesia
4. Blokes dancing with blokes-adamu(chocolate city)
5. Skanky/scantily dressed girlss
6. Tardiness, Rugs, Hard seats, dull waiters-Edward Onah
7. Bathroom huggers- bill uko
8. Sleeping guy or girl, wack dj, fellas on their butt when their feet is suppose to be happy- nkami armon
9. Leeches- Pamela braide
10.ugly girls getting drunk and throwing up- mike ahize
11. razz looking people who are broke but like to form and rude waiters-sophie tarfa
12.lack of initiative on the part of club managers-james famo
13.fat old geezers with their runs babes- editi effiong
14. Bad music
15. Too much light
16. Overpriced drinks with bad service- audu maikori
17. Kill joys
18. Abgayas
19. Im too cool for my fake out of style Hackett shirt- Vivian okafor
20. Overdressed
21. Underdressed
22. Ashawo,sluts,call girls,prostitutes
23. Sweaty/smelly guys and girls- audu maikori
24. Overcrowdedness
25. Rude bouncers
26. Slow music on a Friday night-victor udom
27. V I p section that doesnt feel like a vip section
28. Filthy restrooms

feel free to add your take.....

I got to GAP meeting late, it rained cats and dogs just as I was about to step out of my house (not an excuse) and to my dismay I missed the juiciest part of the gathering. Because of my tardiness, I missed the viewing of two short clips that were presented by Chris. So I’m going to stay clear of that area.
But lucky me I started the days topic with a story I had been told earlier that week; a young guy felt his madams behaviour to him was inappropriate, lots of winking, squeezing, inappropriate touching, funny talk but he wasn’t really sure because it was all subtle and he didn’t want to say anything cos he didn’t want to be seen as a weak man or lose his job, well. But he was uncomfortable. At least we know that its not gender exclusive.
Everyone had a different view and a different story on sexual harassment, but there were some recurring words like patriarchy, power, control, equality etc. But everyone agreed on the definition of sexual harassment as unwanted or unwelcome sexual advances, unwelcome being the operative word. It could be man to woman, woman to man, man to man (a lot of guys cringed at this thought) and woman to woman. The women had so much to say, harassment at work, at school, in a street corner everywhere, not surprisingly, the men were totally oblivious to ever being sexually harassed because like one member pointed out, the advances were usually welcome. Which just buttress the point made by another participant that we live in a patriarchal culture where men have the power. what kind of power, I asked? Is it physical or political or emotional? Well its just the expectation and the acceptance of man as the head.
In a society like ours where women are still relegated to some certain roles- secretary, receptionist, marketer etc, we of course are highly exposed and susceptible to sexual harassment but should we take it lying down just because ‘he sees no harm in what he is doing’? And if we have to stop this menace, how do we go about it. That was the question. The answer was elusive because there were certain unresolved issues that were regarded as the underlying causes of sexual harassment and everybody seemed to be playing safe.
We need to step out of our religious and politically correct boxes and discus this issues without bias or fear, lay them out the way they are or else we will not find answers.
Finally I must add that no poem was read, I over head someone say, ‘I signed up for an evening of poetry and art not a discussion panel’, so I guess I will take that up during the next meeting.